Everything Goes On

... Within reason.

The reason I wish to train myself in the art of not giving a fuck is simple: I struggle with people pleasing. Being a people pleaser absolutely sucks. For me, my people pleasing tendencies are fueled by two things: I am afraid of people seeing me in a negative light and I am afraid of being rejected as a result. Ergo, in order to ensure that I am as well-liked as possible and unlikely to be rejected by others... well what do I do?

• I don't do a lot to assert myself
• I don't set a lot of personal boundaries
• Unless the someone is genuinely being an asshole, I have difficulty telling people "no."
• Excessive apologies, even when no apology is needed
• Taking the blame for something going wrong, even when I am in no way to blame
• Bottling up my opinions--specifically negative/controversial opinions--because I'm afraid of either being attacked or seen as a killjoy/asshole/hater.
• Being flaky even when I do state my opinions (IE I say one thing, the person disagrees with me, I go back and realign my opinion so that, while it may not necessarily be the same as theirs, it is still acceptable.)

Basically, I spend pretty much all my time accommodating the needs of others while completely neglecting my own because I'm desperate to avoid social damnation, which isn't healthy in the slightest. Like goddamn, I realized a few months back that part of the reason I struggle with rumination IE getting stuck on a recurring thought is because I sometimes avoid vocalizing my thoughts, usually because the thing that's bothering me is either A) Something petty B) Not particularly important or C) Both. Which, c'mon, it's within human nature to complain. As long as I'm not hurting anyone or making a habit of it, I should be allowed to groan every now and again about The Thing, whatever it is.

This obviously doesn't mean I'm going to stop giving fucks entirely. I've got important responsibilities as an adult and there are many people I love and care about who I want to support, never mind it really does feel nicer to be kind and considerate to others rather than rude and mean. (Plus I am a human being who does make mistakes from time to time, and taking responsibility for my actions, apologizing, and learning from said mistake is the only way to grow and become a better person.) But goddamn, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone and I don't think people realize how suffocating it can be to constantly self-censor yourself just because you're afraid of coming across as mean/whiny. More importantly, having firm boundaries is important because I do not want to let myself become a pushover--not asserting yourself is the fastest way to ending up in a toxic relationship where your friend/partner is constantly exploiting you and I'm not about to let anyone take advantage of me because I was unable to say "no."

Anyway, tl;dr: In training myself to not give a fuck, I am hoping to become a reasonably more authentic version of myself. It might be a little more petty/complain-y, but at least I won't be an anxious wreck constantly second-guessing every social interaction I have because I'm afraid of being disliked/hated. (Especially because, well, I know there are plenty of people out there who already dislike/hate me. It's the internet, damn it.)

Somehow, I managed to survive another year and oh boy, this one was a doozy. Looking at the news for more than five minutes already does more than enough to make me question my faith in humanity, but so much shit happened this year that I can't even name all the good and bad that I experienced; the best part was probably that the TMNT 2003 server I run released a fanzine earlier this summer to commemorate our 1st anniversary, which was super fun to work on with everyone. The worst part was that this spring saw the conclusion of the single worst case of online harassment I have ever had to deal with in all my years as an active internet user and while I'll hopefully never have to deal with the individual ever again...well, the most I can say is that it's still going to be a long while before I've successfully healed from that entire ordeal.

But hey, I made it and I am hoping that 2026 turns out much better. I'm already thinking about New Year's resolutions and the list is more than a little long between skills I want to learn, projects I want to work on, and the things I wanna do to improve both my lifestyle and myself as a person. Still, would rather have a lot of little things that I'll have hopefully knocked off at least a few of before 2027 rolls around rather than only two or three major resolutions that I'll have abandoned by the end of January

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good day! This year my birthday is looking to be a pretty slow day and I don't have any major plans other than getting a nice dinner with my family; sometimes, you just need a day to relax.

DREDGE: I got the "good" ending and somehow I understand everything yet I also know absolutely nothing

A Game About Digging a Hole: I just wanted to dig a hole, man.

Welp, I'm probably going to go ahead and do Dredge's DLC, maybe get the default/bad ending if I really feel like it, then I need to look through the rest of my Switch backlog. Among other new games I got include Children of Morta and Greak: Memories of Azur, but maybe after that I'm FINALLY gonna sit down and actually do a complete run of Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin...

First, before anything: How do we like my current setup in Spirit City? I know Christmas season isn't until next month, but honestly, the only reason I care at all for Thanksgiving these days is because of the food. Gimme the brightly lit conifers and tacky sweaters already, damn it.

But, to the actual post topic: it's no secret that I am a fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I love it, it's amazing, it came to me at a good time when I needed a story that didn't focus on romance, there's so much to explore when it comes to the many TV, movie, and comic iterations, and it has an amazing online community of dedicated fans who produce so much amazing fanart and fanfic. Really, my only major gripe is that there is a shockingly large subculture within the fandom that ships the abomination known as turtlecest, but A) franchises that star siblings unfortunately almost always fall victim to that ridiculousness and B) I just have to keep reminding myself that the canonical turtles are true, honest to god brothers in every sense of the word and that, if I am in the mood for a touch of romance, I have my OC x Canon pairings to focus on instead of... eugh.

But uh, right now, the franchise seems to be in trouble and it's not because it's not doing very well; in fact, TMNT is doing better than ever when you look at the successes of the Mutant Mayhem brand as well as the IDW comics and video games. (I still need to work on that Splintered Fate lore compilation I started not too long ago.) Unfortunately, there were two major announcements recently, neither of which were good; long story short, the Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series as well as the movie adaptation of The Last Ronin have both been cancelled. While the Ronin movie is not too surprising because it's been in development hell for so long, Tales had a very successful first season and the show's team were extremely excited for the second season, which is still slated to release this December. Why was it cancelled then? 

Because it's "not the vision the owners want." And by owners, they're not referring to the ones who were very happy with Mutant Mayhem over a year ago, so much so that they were considering four seasons of Tales and not just two; they are talking about the new set of higher ups who are now in charge in the wake of the Paramount's merger with Skydance. These higher ups clearly don't like what the current turtles are doing and want something else, something else that'll (hopefully) bring them in even more profits than what TMNT is doing now. There's even been multiple reports that they want to "Sonic-fy" the TMNT franchise because of the success of the blue blur's live action movies, which...no. Just no. Sonic is Sonic, TMNT is TMNT. Leave it alone.

I already talked about this at a length over on Tumblr, but knowing the history of this franchise, it's early beginnings, how it rose to fame, its many triumphs and failures over the years, the sacrifices that the people working on it made, and just how many artists, writers, and animators have put endless love and dedication into these silly cartoon turtles, seeing it become yet another victim of late stage capitalism is nothing short of depressing. And I know there are people who are able to look at what's happening and just say "it is what it is," but me? I've been here only a couple of years and this franchise has done more than just capture my attention with its stories and characters--it's inspired me and helped me realize many things about my life, both good and bad. I've made many dear friends thanks to the fandom that I hope to know for years to come. And it literally saved my interest in doing illustration when I was considering giving up on it entirely. I've gained so much thanks to it and seeing slowly but surely lose its soul... it just doesn't feel right.

Maybe things will eventually get better, but for the moment, I can't see it as getting anything but worse. At this time, it's truly up to the fans to keep the spirit of the turtles alive because the people in charge are not interested in giving us an earnest story to touch our hearts; they only care about profits and that's really, really sad.

The PC build that's been over a month in the making is FINALLY complete. I spent both yesterday evening and this morning putting this bad boy together and I couldn't be more happy with the final results; I just wish I knew why only the CPU cooler fans are running and not the ones that were preinstalled in the case. (Edit: figured out the problem. Turns out that I didn't even have the power cable hooked into the motherboard for the case fans OTL)

Especially grateful for the tech bros over on r/buildapcforme; they made choosing the parts so much easier and answered all the questions I had. I wish I knew the best way to thank them properly. Now the only thing left to do is get all my personal preferences set up, the most bothersome of which is going to be Clip Studio Paint. (I am boo-boo the fool and did not back up ANY of my custom materials onto the cloud, meaning I'll need to go back on my laptop and toggle them so they get transferred over to my new PC. Ahhh, the ways I sometimes make things harder on myself XD)

Profile

Like most versions of the turtles, Donatello is the team's highly intelligent engineer and mechanic who prefers a practical, scientific approach when faced with a challenge. Similar to versions such as the Mirage comics and 2003 animated series, he's considered a quiet, thoughtful personality with a very laid-back temperament, being extremely patient with those around him and almost never losing his temper. His speech mannerisms of the turtles also tend to be the most eloquent, although he has his occasional moments of awkwardness and is terrible when it comes to cracking jokes.

Donatello has been noted by the game's developers to have a sensitive, empathetic side. Like Michelangelo, he shows little to no antagonism towards Leatherhead despite him attacking them and even sometimes quietly apologizes to him after the fight for his suffering. The Metalhead DLC for Arcade Mode also seems to imply that, similar to his brother Leonardo, he can be rather hard on himself when he believes he's let down those he cares about, becoming much more serious and even a little curt than he usually is in the process. Due to his preference for scientific explanations for unnatural phenomena, Donatello spends much of main game insisting that the portals are the result of advanced technology rather than magic—it isn't until close to the end of the story that he finally admits that they are more than likely arcane in origin and that he was overthinking it. 

In-Game

While not a weak fighter by any means, Donatello's playstyle is the least aggressive of the turtles, instead emphasizing defense and positive status buffs. His first inspiration restores a small amount of health upon starting an encounter, and his second decreases the amount of time it takes for his tool to charge. His default tool is the Hardened Shell, which deals physical damage to nearby enemies and gives total immunity for a few brief seconds.

Notes and Trivia

• Donatello is voiced by Dale Inghram, who also provides the voice of Metalhead.
  • Of the voice actors for the turtles, Inghram is the only one who has not worked on any major TMNT projects prior to Splintered Fate.
• Strangely, he is the only one of his brothers never to have a personal conversation with Splinter.
• A number of Donatello's dialogue and battle lines reference classical literature, poetry, and philosophy, suggesting a fondness for them.
• Upon defeating the Shredder for the fourth time, the turtles obtain Splinter's cooking apron. Dialogue from Donatello afterwards reveals that he was the one who got it and came up with the “I wok, therefore I yam” pun printed on it.

Ah, the joys of drawing your blorbos when you're half asleep at 3 AM.

Anyway, long story short, I'm slowly but surely trying to develop my own way to draw the 2003 turtles. Although I'm still using more organic, round shapes similar to what was seen in the style from the first five seasons, I'm trying to utilize proportions similar to Fast Forward/Back to the Sewer, which... I think the specific term is a "swimmer's build?" While still very muscular, the turtles are noticeably slimmer than the earlier seasons with a combination of broad shoulders, narrow hips, and longer limbs. Much experimentation is still needed, unfortunately, but at least I've got a start XD

In the context of Splintered Fate's gameplay, artifacts are equippable items that provide various bonuses when equipped during runs. Only one can be equipped at a time and their abilities can be improved by spending Dreamer Coins. They are as follows:

Base Game Artifacts

Manhole Cover

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Water powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Water Category
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Sewer.

Foot Clan Medallion

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Flame powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Flame Category
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Docks.

Broken Ooze Canister

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Ooze powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Ooze Category.
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Streets

Sword of Tengu

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Utrom powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Utrom Category.
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Rooftops

Tessen

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Ninja powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Ninja Category.
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Docks twice.

Mystical Seal of Protection

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Astral powers. Guarantees your next Power Selection is of the Astral Category
Requirements: Defeat the boss in Rooftops twice

StockGen ID card

+[X]% chance of gaining Bonus Scrap when defeating MOUSERs or Super Foot Soldiers
Requirements: Defeat 75 Stockman enemies

Turnstone

[X]% chance to gain bonus Dragon Coins or Dreamer Coins upon defeating a veteran or champion enemy.
Requirements: Spend 1300 Dragon Coins or Dreamer Coins. Granted by an ally in the Lair.

Battle Shell Fuzzy Dice

+[x]% Double Select chance during any Turtle Upgrade selections. Granted by an ally in Streets
Requirements: Defeat the Sewers boss in a Gauntlet Challenge

Insulated Pizza Box

Boosts last for an additional [X] rooms. Granted by an ally in Docks. 
Requirements: Destroy 200 crates

Heart of Tengu

+[X]% Dodge chance. Increase duration of Invulnerability upon Dash. 
Requirements: Defeat 25 minibosses. Granted by an ally in the Sewers.

Astral Charm

+[X] Invulnerability duration upon consuming a Splinter's Revive
Requirements: Lose 5 runs.

War Staff

+100% damage taken from all sources. +[X]% currencies granted by Bosses. 
Requirements: Defeat the Docks boss in a Gauntlet Challenge.

Junkyard Jam DLC

Untuned Guitar

When you finish a room, all players permanently get increased elemental damage. This effect doesn't stack.
Requirements: Defeat the Junkyard boss.

Vintage Blowtorch

Every [X] seconds, your next Final Strike stuns non-boss enemies.
Requirements: Defeat the miniboss in Junkyard twice.

Busted Snare

When you finish a room, all players heal [X] health. This effect doesn't stack.
Requirements: Defeat the Junkyard boss twice.

Splintered Drumsticks

When you finish a room, all players gain +[X] Scrap. This effect doesn't stack.
Requirements: Defeat the Junkyard boss three times

Casey's Portrait

Defeating bosses increases all players' Max Health by [X]. This effect doesn't stack
Defeat the Junkyard miniboss in a Gauntlet Challenge

Metalhead DLC

Positronic Motherboard

+[X]% Double Select chance when selecting Robotics powers. Guarantees you next Power Selection is of the Robotics Category.

Mysterious Gofu

Gain a random level [X] Tool at the start of each Chapter

Clan Hamato Seal

Gain one Splinter revive. Splinter's Revivie restores [X]% additional health 

Cracked Stasis Beacon

You're much slower. If you beat a boss while carrying this, gaint an extra +[X] Scrap

Kitsune's Cup

You can't heal. Gain +[X] Dreamer Coins

Giant Tusk Fragment

You can't heal. Gain +[X] Dragon Coins

Notes and Trivia

• The Positronic Motherboard, Mysterious Gofu, Clan Hamato Seal, Cracked Stasis Beacon, Kitsune's Cup, and Giant Tusk Fragment are all unlocked by default upon purchasing the Metalhead DLC.
• Prior to an update, the Battle Shell Fuzzy Dice was obtained by spending 20 lucky dice.
• Many of the artifacts pay homage to various items and characters across the TMNT franchise. Please see the Franchise References post for more details.

Profile

Like his brothers, Leonardo follows what one might consider his "traditional" characterization in Splintered Fate. As the oldest of the four turtles, he displays the most maturity and sense of responsibility of the four with his key personality traits including patience, sensitivity, and determination. He also acts as a guiding hand for Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo, offering them encouragement and reassurance while also keeping them in check and making sure that they don't get into trouble. Despite being fairly serious, he does show a more relaxed, playful side here and there, sometimes engaging in playful banter with his brothers and even teasing them from time to time. Most important, however, is his devotion to his family and ability to keep a cool head even when faced with immeasurable odds, a boon invaluable when faced with the unrelenting forces of the Foot or other malicious forces such as Stockman's robots and the Punk Frogs.

At the time Splintered Fate begins, Leonardo has already been firmly established as the leader of the turtles, although he still somewhat new to his role and shows concerns in his ability to lead his brothers without Splinter's guidance. He is incredibly hard on himself when he perceives himself as having failed those he loves, with Splinter even having to assert in a conversation with him that his apologies for failing to defeat the Shredder on the rooftops are unnecessary. As the game continues, Leonardo slowly but surely manages to adapt to his position as the leader and becomes less and less prone to second-guessing himself. By the time of the final battles with the Shredder, he is able to approach their situation with confidence while also not becoming too cocky in the process, and expresses relief once Splinter is back home in the Lair at the end of the main story.

In-Game

As mentioned in his in-game blurb, Leonardo focuses on high damage and is one of the speedier turtles. His two inspirations allow for for every Final Strike to deliver a Master Strike by default, and he also has an additional Special charge. He also has the Shuriken as his default tool.

Notes and Trivia

• Leonardo is voiced by Dominic Catrambone. This is not Catrambone's first time voicing the character; after Jason Biggs was fired from the role in the 2012 series, he served as a substitute VA for Leo for the final seven episodes of season 2 before Seth Green permanently took over the following season. He also voiced Leonardo in the video games based on the 2012 series and has provided his voice in a number of collabs.
• During the first instance where Splinter spiritually communicates with his sons and April, he refers to Leonardo as "Chūnin," or "Middle Ninja." It's not clear if all four turtles are also Chūnin or if this is a title specifically held by Leonardo.
• Leonardo mentions in a dialogue that Splinter was the one who taught him how to boil tea.
• During one scene in the game, Leonardo quotes Sun Tzu—this may be a nod to one of his old online profiles from the late 1990s/2000s, which mentions that his favorite book is "The Art of War."